Mark Taylor

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Daily story, October 10, 2024

A minute in to the deckchair-eating competition, I realise I have made a huge mistake. I thought it was just a lark. Nobody can eat a deckchair. And of all the people who can’t eat a deckchair, I thought I would be top decile, at least. But these guys are pros. They’ve got technique. You can see which ones are using which method; who’s breaking legs up first, who’s tearing fabric into thin strips. And I’m here gnawing like an idiot, splinters in my tongue, not daring to look at the front row in case there’s pity in her eyes.